Appreciation

This past week was Teacher Appreciation Week. At my school, we teachers are immensely blessed with meals throughout the week put together by parents! It was delicious and so thoughtful of them to do. Thank you so much to everyone for your kindness!!


I was reflecting quite a bit on my job during this week. I can not imagine ever doing another job as long as I live. I love teaching with my whole heart. It it challenging, frustrating, and exhausting, but it is also incredibly rewarding, ridiculously fun, and so full of joy.

 

So in the spirit of appreciation, I wanted to list my favorite moments as a teacher, the times that I love and appreciate.  Some general, some specific, but it will give you an idea of why I love my job so freaking much.

• Dress up days: Willy Wonka, Pippi Longstocking, Viola Swamp, a crazy Christmas sweater...I love them all!
• That moment when you watch a student "get it". You can see whatever concept you have been working hard to teach finally click in their brain and they understand. Awesomeness.
•  When the older students interact with the younger students and it makes the little kid's day.
• Acting ridiculous just to make a high schooler give you the slightest smile. Not too big though... they still have to be cool.
• Being able to pray each week with my coworkers for our students.
  
• Reading aloud to my students.
• Laughing with my students.
• Laughing with my coworkers :)
•  Former students still wanting to give me hugs.
• Students and teachers singing hymns together at devotions.
• When a lesson goes really, really well!
• The pure happiness on my students' faces when I give them a bonus recess.
• Watching a student read their first chapter book.
  
• When my students eagerly and excitedly discuss God, the Bible, and how they want to serve the Lord when they grow up.
  
• The end of the year, when you look back at where you started and cannot believe that all of a sudden another year is done and the kids are ready for 3rd grade.

The Lord has been so good to me in my 3 years at RTCS. I have said it before, I will say it now, and I will continue to say it--teachers have the best job in the entire world! So thankful for all those at my school who work so hard every single week and for the teachers all around the world who teach their hearts out for their students.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."                                 

Moments

The other night I treated myself to a redbox movie. It had been a meh kind of day and snuggling in my bed while watching a movie sounded just delightful!

The movie was titled "About Time". It was a movie about a young man who finds out he is able to travel back in time. Not forward, just backwards.

He travels back after various mistakes and mishaps in life, but then realizes while trying to fix things, he often messes them up far worse than before. All in all, he learns the lesson that life happens! It's all the little nix and bruises that make everything worth while and changing the bad changes the good things too. This was kind of a "no duh" lesson that you know he will learn right from the beginning, but even still, I found myself weeping at the end.

Shocker. I'm kind of a crier if you haven't learned that about me already.

It mostly hit me because I started to think about my life and what I would go back to relive, especially since life seems to be whizzing by these days! What were those days that were so fantastic that you couldn't help but have a silly grin? While big moments came to mind, like graduation, vacations, so on, the things that really stuck out were little things. Great times spent with people that I love. If I could go back to relive moments, I don't think I would choose a big event, rather I would choose the small ones.

I would choose Sunday after church at my Grandma and Grandpa's house, with all my cousins home, and us making fun of each other and being way too loud. I would choose late nights in college, laughing and being ridiculous with my friends, not caring about our bedtime or eating far too much junk. I would choose singing with my "sisters" around the piano in the DeMaster's house. I would choose sitting on my Grandma Ongna's lap when I was little, watching her carefully as she teaches me how to back-stitch on the sewing machine. I would choose a week night dance party with Julia in our house in Forest Hills. I would choose a Taco Bell run with my dear friend Kim. I would choose doing farm work with my parents in the summer time under a perfectly blue sky, when life seemed so incredibly simple. There are hundreds of moments I could choose.

Life's small moments have this tendency to make a big impact. And not because of the moments themselves, but because of the people that were there for those moments. God blesses us with people to walk with in this life, the exact people that we need. So here's to all the moments, big, little, and the people who make those moments into memories.

Time to Listen

As I was driving home from my cousin's house tonight, I was listening to the radio, per usual. Except for tonight, Pittsburgh radio stations were filled with somber messages and tributes for those attacked at Franklin Regional this morning.

While I was listening to people talk about those they know that helped and offering their prayers for those wounded, tears started streaming down my face. I had only one thought burst into my mind.

Lord, we need you! 

All of these shootings and attacks are simply horrific. Today's was particularly tough, having taken place so very close to home.  And you know that through the next weeks, talks will be made about violence, safety, what can be done, etc. But all of the awful things in this world boil down to one word.

Sin.

The Lord created this world perfectly, beautifully, and then created man in His own image. His own image! Then He created a helper for that man. They lived in the phenomenal garden, walking and talking with God, caring for the creatures, until....

...until the serpent came and things were never the same. From the moment Eve bit into that apple, sin entered this world. Since then our world has been filled with every type of evil you can imagine. God's beautiful creation has been warped and twisted by humans. Most days the world is just fine stewing in it's sin.

It is days like today that make me realize how badly we need our Savior. The only way out of the muck and mire of this world is to cling to the one who came to this world, lived perfectly, and died painfully, all for the sake of saving us from our sins!

One of my favorite quotes from C. S. Lewis is this:


 

The Lord is begging us to come to Him, to be freed and forgiven of our sins! To live a life that is honoring and glorifying to Him, to spend eternity in paradise with Him! How can we not run to Him with open arms? He is calling out to this deaf world. Isn't it about time we listen?

Farm Life

Someone today at church said something to me about being a midwestern farm girl and it got me thinking about life growing up. My childhood was pretty special. I had the privilege of growing up on a dairy farm. Well, we didn't technically live on it till I was in 5th grade. It was my grandparents' farm and they still lived there, but we lived 5 minutes away. Growing up I wasn't always so fond of my parents' occupation choice. I didn't like having to come home from school to spend a couple of hours doing barn chores. But looking back, I can see just how blessed I was to grow up in this extremely special lifestyle.

I spent my summer days running in fields with my dogs, feeding baby kittens, catching calves, and driving machinery. My cousins would come over when my dad was done haying and we would all unload small square bales together. My sister and I made TONS of games out of jumping between round bales, climbing up on the giant feed bags, and driving the golf cart around. We would name our kittens, we would name the cows! Winters were spent quickly doing our chores and then sledding on the giant snow mountains my dad made for us.

But of course, with farming, there are the hard times too.

There were the times spent trying to guide cows into new pens only to have them escape and run to the road.  Or trying to flip a cow who had gotten stuck in the barn gutter. Or leading a wild heifer to the barn by carrying its baby in front of it. Or climbing into the tank where the milk is stored to scrub out the inside to reduce bacteria counts. Or feeding the calves, outside, when the temperature was -30 and your snot froze to your face.

The glamorous farming life!

Those were days that I HATED growing up on a farm. I have an extremely vivid memory of my dad yelling to have my mom, my sister and I come out to help him late at night to find cows that had broke out of their pens. In the dark. Can I tell you how hard it is to find cows at night? And also how darn fast cows can be if they want to be? Pretty sure my mom, sister, and I were all in tears by the end of the night.

But when you sum up the whole of farming life, it was working hard as a family.  I learned so much growing up on a farm. I learned all about the details of farm life, like signs of mastitis, what strawberry foot is, and when the hay should be cut. But I also learned how to work hard and how to trust the Lord to provide. How to work with your family and how to persevere through. And how to tough it out and just stick some dirt in it. Great lessons learned that help me in my life here living in the city.

So thanks to my parents for allowing me a truly special and incredible childhood, but more so for the life lessons you taught me! Can't wait to head to the farm again soon!!

 

Ode to a Terrible Car

Two years ago I bought you
Shiny and new to me
I was so excited, so ecstatic!
You were everything I wanted you to be.

We bonded on our first road trip
Wisconsin all the way to Pennsylvania
The traffic, the hills, the snowy weather
Nothing could sway or ruin ya!

But then one month into owning you
You decided to break down one morn
Right as I had to head into work
I couldn't contain my scorn.

No big deal, no worries! I said
It's just a freak breakdown this time,
Sure it's expensive, but its just this once
I'm sure from now on it'll be fine!

And sure, you were fine for a while
You ran like a champ on those hills
But every couple months, like clockwork
You'd breakdown and I'd pay another bill

How many times did I tow you?
How many times did you break?
You were in the garage as much as you weren't
Simply put, you were a giant headache.

So thanks for the times that you did work
The fun trips and memories we've had
For all the place you've brought me
I am really and truly glad.

But you seriously were a piece of junk
You were dying a slow, painful death
The transmission was clunky and awful
Every time I drove I held my breath!

So drive into the sunset, dear Mazda
And I hope you enjoy wherever you go.
I'll be driving in my smooth new Honda
With no need for a jump or a tow! :)

What next?

This time of year is always an interesting one for teachers. It is the time when forms are sent out for you to decide if you will stay at your school or if you are going to pursue other options.

If you're me, these forms mean that you reevaluate all the decision you have made in your life thus far and freak out about life in general. I tend to over think things sometimes.

When I was first looking for jobs and deciding what I wanted to do after I graduated college, I was going crazy trying to figure out what I wanted to do/what God wanted me to do. God's will for my life. Yikes. It was a scary time! I wanted God to send me a letter telling me what to do. Or drop a neon sign in front of my face. Either one would have worked! But that's not how our Lord works.

As is quite obvious, I ended up coming to Pittsburgh! Totally not on my radar, but totally in God's will for me. But each spring that comes and with each intent form that is put in my school mailbox, my minds starts chugging away.

Should I stay here? Is there somewhere I am needed more? Does God want me to go teach in another country? What if I make the wrong choice? How do I know what God wants me to do?? What if I screw it all up?

You see, when you live far away from family and friends, you get lots of people asking you questions when you're coming back home. Or when you will move by them. All which are so sweet and flattering! But also extremely confusing. Is this God giving me hints that I should move this place or that?

My mind has been working in overdrive the past few weeks with all these thoughts and then I got to church last week, grabbed an outline for our Sunday school class, sat down, and looked at topic for that day's lesson. "The Will of God."

Ha! I nearly let out a squeal of excitement as a excitedly grabbed out my purple note taking pen. Yes, I have a note taking pen and, yes, I am slightly OCD. I am ok with it.

My pastor, Pastor Ray Heiple, did an amazing job laying out the different types of God's will there are and what it means throughout scripture as well as what it means for us. Pastor Heiple told me exactly what God's will for me was. Was it to stay in Pittsburgh for 3 more years? Was it to leave all my possessions and back pack across Europe? Was it to move back with my parents and become a bum??

Live for God.

It was that simple. None of the bother with the details and petty worries that cycle through my human brain. To quote the Westminster catechism, "man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever." It is amazing how simple the answer is and how complicated I make it. My calling in life is to live for God, to honor Him with what I do and how I live. I can do that anywhere! God will work His will for my life no matter where my physical body is.

As far as missing God's will, it isn't possible! God's will isn't some magical quest that I am waiting to be called upon to do, nor is it a flight that I just missed because I decided to leave 30 minutes later for the airport. God is working His will for me right now! There is a purpose to all that has happened in my life so far and all that is yet to come. I feel comforted knowing that the details will work out, as long as I continue to live to glorify and honor Christ.

Where I'll be in the coming years, I do not know. But I hope and pray that wherever I am and whatever I am doing, I will be serving the Lord and working to glorify Him through it all.

My Pittsburgh Peeps

Last year, when Julia (my previous roommate and dear friend) told me that she was taking a job in Chicago, it was a bit rough for me. By "a bit rough" I mean hysterical crying in my childhood bedroom. I also realize that I am once again referencing me crying. That doesn't happen thaaaat often. I am emotionally stable, everyone.

Anywho, I don't deal with changes well. Big changes anyway. I had moved out to Pittsburgh knowing no one but my cousin Ryan and Julia, who were moving there with me. The 3 of us were the small town kids moving to the big city! We had a lot of big moments together, especially Julia and I since we lived together. We lived out on our own, really and truly, for the first time. She was my comfy and familiar in a place that was full of new. We did everything together and it was an awesome 2 years.

And next thing I know she was moving and getting married. Something I couldn't do with her. A weird feeling after two years of togetherness.

Needless to say, I was nervous about living in Pittsburgh without Julia. Who would I be friends with? Would my roommates even like me? Would I spend my nights sitting bored in the corner of my room?

I made an agreement with myself when I moved back to PA after a summer in Wisconsin that I would agree to everything I could the first couple of months so I could get out and meet people and do things! I mean, I knew people but I didn't have my comfort bubble.  I also prayed a whoooole bunch, knowing God wanted me here and to help me through the transition.

Well, as usual, God answered in a great way. The new teacher my school hired for this last school year is the same age as I am and we clicked immediately. Not to mention that the rest of my coworkers are fabulous people, people I consider friends first and coworkers second. Through church I have met a bunch of new and fantastic people who have also been wonderful and amazing and every other glowing adjective under the sun. And there are still tons of amazing people from the east side of the city from when Julia and I lived there. All in all, things worked out better than I could have hoped and no, I have not been sitting alone in a corner of my room!

Except now. Which is by choice. And because my car is broken down again. But let's not get into that!

So I want to say thank you to all my dear friends here in Pittsburgh. Living away from family and old friends is hard sometimes, but you have become my adopted family. You encourage me, love me, make me laugh, have me over, and even take care of me when things go wrong. I cannot imagine life without you all! Pittsburgh was never ever a thought in my head 3 years ago, but the Lord sure knew I needed all of you great people in my life. I may never be able to convey just how much you all mean to me and how much you have helped me grow into a somewhat mature and functioning adult. I really and truly love you so very much.

Also, I may or may not be tearing up...so much for the not crying often part...


*Pictures of a few of the many wonderful people I know

 

My Boys

Since I am a teacher and I've been back to blogging for a bit now, I guess it's about time I tell you about life in 2nd grade!

We're over half way through the year...crazy! How is it that life goes by so darn fast as adults?? Another topic for another day. Anywho, we have been cruising along, my boys and I. Yes, my class of all boys has made for a very interesting year! I have had boys each year I've taught, but never an entire class of them. Also, these boys are as boy as you can get. We have been working hard and having a fun year together! They have also been teaching me quite a lot.

Here is a bit of what I have learned spending my weekdays with my 2nd grade kiddos:

1. Boys have energy. A very different energy than girls. It's a--pound my lego creation into the ground then run around the room yelling and flailing arms around--energy. Not that that has ever happened in my classroom...

2.  Boys like doing boy things and to me, that's great! Today's society is so against boys being boys. How many stories have you read about innocent kids being suspended because of their rough playing? Ugh. Lots of boys like to play in dirt, fight the bad guys, and run around because God created them that way. I look for ways to make things educationally messy or energetic because I know these boys need and love that. I gave them a half hour of extra recess Friday...they seriously thought I was a superhero :)

3. Boys can have just as/more tender of a heart than a little girl. My boys have said some pretty darn sweet things to me throughout the year. And they are such gentleman! They hold the door open for me and try to be polite as possible. They also come to me with tears in their eyes when their feelings have been hurt. There is no doubting the love bursting from these boys.

4. Boys in adult like clothing just kiiiilllll me! Soooooo cute! I freaked out on them at the Christmas concert when they all came in ties. One of them was wearing  a bow tie. A BOW TIE! ON AN 8 YEAR OLD! And their giggles. It just tugs on your heart strings!

All in all, the year has been going really well. They challenge me in a whole new way, which, I am learning, is every class, every year. Teachers are always working on adapting, changing, and learning. Keeps it interesting, ya know! I'll finish my post with two delightful 2nd grade quotes. These boys say the funniest things...feeling blessed to be their teacher this year!

Me: How are the cookies?
Student 1: Good!
Student 2: Mine tastes flat.

You can't get old until you get married.

Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed.

It is the first word that came to mind as I was reflecting on my crazy week. Overwhelmed in every way you can imagine. Let me explain my week to you, dear friends.

My car has and continues to be a test of my patience. By the beginning of this week, I had made yet another call to a friend to pick me up for work because my car had, yet again, not started for the 3rd time in 2 weeks. I had reached the end of my patience and did what all mature adults do when confronted with difficult circumstance. 

I sat down and cried my eyes out.

Yep. I was that girl. I did not like having to call on friends again for a ride, I was sick thinking about how much money fixing this ongoing problem was going to cost, and I was simply frustrated that life isn't always a bowl of ice cream with fun sprinkles on top.

While I was bawling into my gloved hands I realized that I should be lifting this burden to the one who has offered to carry them for me. I prayed at that moment for guidance on how to handle this situation and for the Lord's care in finding a way to deal with this all.

I picked myself up, got to school, thanks to a dear friend, and was determined to have a good day. That morning as I opened my Bible to start devotions with my students, I found that it was open to James 1 where it says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

My heart was once again overwhelmed, this time with the reassurance that the Lord knows what my circumstances are and knows what I need and when I need it. 

The rest of my week proved that to be so true. My dear friend Heather let me stay at her house while my mechanic, her wonderful dad, worked on my car. They fed me, provided me with a room to stay in, and rides to wherever I needed. I received money from the dog sitting job I just happened to have while this all was happening. Other financial provisions were made from other situations as well. Then I had a fantastic night with amazing friends on Friday night, just what this extravert needed! When I got home, I had a package waiting for me from my old roomie, Julia.  Not to mention all week my coworkers were the most kind and considerate people to exist, asking me about what they could do for me, praying for me, and providing encouragement to my always struggling heart.

Overwhelmed...in the best sense of the word. While there are many things that are worse than a car breaking down, I realize, this was a big stress for me. The Lord provided for me in so many ways in such a short time that it is hard for me to even process. Obviously God provides for us each and everyday, but I tend to skim over that fact when things are going all fine and dandy. Then I have a nasty start to a week and God provides, yet again.

What a patience and loving God to continue to provide for us, even when we have weak hearts or don't thank Him near enough! A lesson I'm sure I will continue to learn through the rest of my days on this earth. I'll end with the lyrics to the song "Good to Me" by Audrey Assad that has been a huge encouragement to me:

I put all my hope in the truth of Your promise
And I steady my heart on the ground of Your goodness
When I'm bowed down with sorrow I will lift up Your name
And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy

Because You are good to me, good to me

I lift up my eyes to the hills where my help is found
Your voice fills the night - raise my head up to hear the sound
Though fires burn all around me I will praise You, my God
And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy

Because You are good to me, good to me

Your goodness and mercy shall follow me
All my life
I will trust in Your promise 

Always a bridesmaid...

The contents of this post have been rattling around in my brain for a while--being a single Christian twenty-something. I had written down my thoughts about it and then the next day I had a really great discussion about it with my roomie. I took it as God's urging for me to post it, not because I am begging for compliments or for you to tell me that everything is going to be ok, but because I need to acknowledge that this is a real struggle and sin in my life.

This is a hard thing for me to write about because I don't like that I struggle with it. I have always been pretty proud of how independent I am and what I can do on my own. Psh, I don't need a boyfriend! I was raised on a farm, I have an awesome work ethic, I don't need anyone, look at me, opening that jar all by myself!

Then the weddings started to happen. I have always been so happy for my friends and I have loved getting to see them marry the person they have longed for and dreamed about! And I remained proud to be the exception to the rule, that I could be an independent girl, one of the few who left Dordt unmarried!

Then the weddings continued to happen. And now the babies are happening.

And here I am, still the "independent" one.

Except I don't want to be that independent one anymore. I want to be the one who gets to marry the guy I've been longing for and dreaming about. Being a single 24 year old Christian woman is harder than I thought it would be. I don't know where I'm going to live in a few months, I barely have enough money to buy groceries, my car breaks down often and I have no alternative modes of transportation, and there are times where I am simply lonely.

It's not something I talk about often because who wants to hear the single girl be sad when there are more weddings to celebrate and babies to coo over? Nor do I want to be the girl who is pitied because she is "always a bridesmaid, never a bride!" (Terrible, terrible phrase, by the way.) But nonetheless, the feelings exist and the more engagements that happen, the more I look at myself and wonder if I am destined to be a cat lady.

Then I remember something. I remember God sent His son to die on the cross for me. God loves us far more perfectly and deeply than any human being could every muster. That He wants me to love Him more than anything else, to love Him as He loves me. Do I? Do I really loved God in the way I should? That should be my first and foremost priority and it definitely is not always the case. 

There is a quote from an article I read about being a single Christian woman that has stuck with me. The writer says, "I learned that it’s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for God to spend my life as He chooses for His glory."

Like a smack in the face. My purpose on this earth is to bring honor and glory to God. Right now that is through teaching His children in Pittsburgh. Will it be through marriage? I don't know. But I need to trust that the Lord will use my life how He sees fit. This isn't an easy thing to swallow, since my idea for my life hasn't always matched up to God's entirely. But I keep reminding myself that I am not living for this world. I am living for God and I am looking forward to eternity with my Savior! This is a great reminder to each of us, no matter what we each struggle with.

Satan loves to use our weaknesses to detract from our relationship with Christ. Every time I'm on Facebook and I see another baby announcement or engagement, I can feel myself doubting God and His plans for me, getting upset with Him, and becoming envious of the blessings my friends have received. Jeremiah 29:11 often pops to mind at these times, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Whenever I get envious or upset, I am blocked from seeing all the good things the Lord has put in my life, and there is so much good! God doesn't want me to sit and feel sad for myself, He wants me to cling to Him and trust Him for all that I need.

Whatever the Lord has planned for my future, I am excited for. I continue to pray that it may be marriage, but if it isn't, I look forward to however He decides to use me and continue to work on completely trusting Him. God's will be done!

FAQ

My first real post back is an update! Here are some frequently asked questions I receive from people:

Where are you living now a days?
In Pittsburgh! I now live in the city on the Northside which, crazy enough, is called that because it is the north side of the city! It is a definite change from the eastern suburbs where I was, but I have really liked it! I must say I am becoming more and more of a city person. Or I like to think I am. I still geek out like a tourist when I'm downtown. Probably not the coolest "city person" thing to do...

With who, may I ask?
I now live with two girls my age. I have mutual friends with one of them, which was how we were connected as one girl who needed another roommate and one girl who needed a place to live! They are way cooler than I am, but still seem to like me, so that's good! 

Are you still teaching at the same school?
Indeed! I am in the middle of my third year (whaaaat?!) of teaching 2nd grade. I still love it so, so much! My school and kiddos rock :)

Any plans of heading back to the Midwest?
I have literally no idea what my future plans are. I have been taking each year as it comes, working to follow God's leading. At the moment I am really enjoying where I am at. Not sure what God has in store for me, but I'm working and learning to simply trust.

How have you been since Julia moved away?
I cry every night into my pillow and sleep with her picture.

Not really. Though I do miss her and her husband Peter like crazy! I will admit it was rough at first to "start" again on my own, but God has really provided for me in ways I could have never predicted. Though nothing will ever really compare to living with your best friend for 2 years.

I think that hits all the major bullet points. I can really sum it all up with this--I continue to be blessed far more than I ever deserve! Even on the tough days, I have to remember how God has brought me here, exactly where He wants, to do something I love to do. So very awesome!

I'm baaaaack!

I just couldn't stay away. I've been thinking about this blog for a while and talked to a few people and have decided to start blogging again. Not that my thoughts or life are anything crazy exciting or special, but I realized it made me reflect and think. I liked that!

So, alas, I return. Of course I'll talk about my kiddos, (they're quite a hoot this year!) but I am also challenging myself to be more open and honest about the hard stuff too. Then there are always the ridiculous moments of my life because it's me.

Have I bored you yet? You still with me?

If so, thanks for reading. I know everyone and their brother and their uncle's cat has a blog these days. But I so enjoy reading my friends' blogs so I hope you can enjoy reading mine too. Life has changed quite a bit since I've last written and I look forward to sharing what God has been doing!